I went to bed at 1 am yesterday and I was unable to sleep until 5 am. I was there lying down on my bed, trying to sleep after a long day of doing my essay. My body was weary, but my mind was incredibly awake, wandering with random thoughts over and over again.

Frankly speaking, the busyness of my entire day had took away typically all my energy and strength that I wished I could just have a night’s rest, which I felt was legitimate and something I deserved after a day of hard work.

Before I went to bed at about 1 am, I decided that it was time to get right with God, so I prayed for a good night’s sleep. But instead of a good night’s sleep, to my horror, each time I was about to doze off, I would feel uncomfortable such that I had to toss and turn to another position. It happened the entire night.

I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t sleep, given that I had expanded typically all of my energy during the day. I went to take a drowsy flu pill to get me sleepy, however, it didn’t work. Frustration and anger kicked it while I was worrying over the fact that I needed rest and time was ticking away. At those moments, as I reflected, I realised how dreadful my days were:

In the mornings, for the entire day, I would be slogging out my life on work and at night, when it is time to sleep, I am needing for a good rest, so that the next day, I could continue to slog. The reason, I realised why I was angry and frustrated was because I couldn’t have the rest that I deserved. I began to hate the cycle that I was in. This cycle of restlessness.

Through my frustrations, I began to doubt and question God why I couldn’t rest though I prayed for rest, and it didn’t seem as if I would be having sufficient rest for the rest of the night as it was about 4 in the morning already. The answer from God seems to point to one thing: Do I trust him?

In any case, while I was having my Insomnia, God was testing my faith. The outward circumstance seems bleak and hopeless, as rest for the night seems virtually impossible. While I was in such a frustrating situation, it was as if God was asking me: ” Do you trust me to give you a good sleep tonight?” From the situation and the time, it didn’t look like I could have a good sleep, but suddenly I woke up at 9 am in the morning, not feeling as tired as I thought I would be.

It is really very frustrating to have insomnia, especially at this time when I know I need the energy and concentration during the day to do my work. I want to praise God for granting me that sufficient rest for the remaining of the night, though it was just a few hours.

I kicked off today in a hurry once again and rushed off to the library before going to school. I was about to begin a long day like yesterday, when I realised that the day could turn out differently. I had two choices in fact: 1) I’ll will or force myself to put through today or 2) I shall cease trying and go to God.

Thankfully, God led me to the second. As I was on the bus, on my way to school, though I was tired, my rest finally came and it was good. As I opened up my bible to read Hebrews 2 again, God spoke. My heart was refreshed. The heavy heart was lifted.

i asked for physical rest for the night, and God gave me a rest that is so much better: A Rest in Him.

 

-God has set principles of the world for a reason. There is a night and a day for a reason. There is a certain order which has to be followed. There is a time for sleep and a time for work. Night is the time for sleep. I shouldn’t go against that order, therefore, I shall sleep early.