I realised that my shyness and solidarity sometimes kill me.

Because of shyness, I am afraid to speak out. I fear the consequences of speaking out. I fear what would happen to me if I would have a different viewpoint on things. Yet I fear that if I do not speak out, things will simply deteriorate. Which would actually please God, I do not know? Should I be brave and speak out or should I respect the group’s nature and leave things as it is?

And my solidarity keeps me from people. I am different and I am unwilling to conform to group culture’s if it is apart from the one thing that should bind us christians together – Christ. Should I be set apart for God and behave different for his sake? Or should I intermingle and accept certain things for the sake of bonding and building relationships?

Sometimes, things just require balance. But I am underable to find one right now.