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My soul is in deep pain.
There were 2 choices I could make,
2 paths that I could take.
You were running away from me
while the worship service was about to start.
I stood there in a dilemma,
I am suppose to attend the worship service because I am a group leader and I had to facilitate discussion later.
But you were running away.
Each second you were further and further away from sight.
I made the choice.
I dropped my things and I ran after you, knowing the consequences of my actions.
I chose to put the entire group behind in order to reconcile with you.
Why?
Because you were what mattered more at that point of time.
I ran after you in a mixed of doubt and fear,
hoping that my decision would be the right one.
I didn’t want to lose you.
When I found you, you were rejecting me
though I sought you with all my heart.
You turned away from me
so that you would not see my face.
I am but a helpless and fallible person,
weak and frail in strength.
You said you accepted me,
you said you loved me.
But yet once again,
you hurt me
you tore my heart.
Christmas is round the corner once again. As christians, year after year, we celebrate this festival without fail.
I found an interesting article about Christmas which says something that may shock many christians in the world – Christmas is NOT Christian.
Having celebrated Christmas for so many years, have we ever asked about the “real meaning” of Christmas? Or perhaps, have we ever question the “real meaning” of Christmas?
To the world, Christmas is a time of fun with Santa Clauses, Snow, Feasting, Joy etc. Many christians know that it shouldn’t be that way. They say that, no, Christmas is the birth of Christ, it should be celebrated reverently. The intent may be right, not to celebrate as the world celebrates, but to let it be a season of joy, giving and most importantly, the sharing of the gospel.
But have we ever questioned, ‘Who said that Christmas is the birth of Christ?’ Was it the church pastor? Was it our parents? Or was it the world? Who said that?
Perhaps we all know that Christmas is NOT the birth of Christ, but just a festival to commemorate the birth. But once again, who said that?
I realised that Christmas is indeed not the birth of Jesus, nor was it instituted in the Bible as a festival to commemorate the birth. Conversely, it has pagan origins as stated in the article. Or for further reading, wikipedia has a more detailed write-up about it.
This indeed opened me up to something of utmost importance, a reality check about the christian life. It is so easy to claim something to be ‘Christian’, just as the season of Christmas was claimed to be a ‘Christian’ festival. More so, it is so easy for many Christians to just follow the flow and believe that Christmas is a christian festival just because of erm…tradition, word-of-mouth, claims?
Though I would say whether a christian celebrate Christmas is not an important issue, it does point to something very important for our christian walk, which is, ‘What do we base our belief system upon?’
What is our basis of believing that Christmas is Christian? How do we know whether Christmas is Christian or not?
I suggest it all goes back to this: Sola scriptura. The Word of God alone.
Yes, indeed, the word of God alone. The key word is alone. The word of God alone must be our basis for not just whether christmas is christian or not, but our basis for EVERYTHING. The word of God is all-sufficient for us! Hence, there is a need to base EVERYTHING upon it.
The question that needs to be asked is not ‘Who said that Christmas is Christian or not Christian’. It should be ‘Is Christmas according to the word of God?’ It goes the same for everything else. We should ask, likewise, ‘Is this or that according to the word?’ before we proceed and believe and blindly follow the ways of the world. Are we following the word of God or are we simply following traditions of old?
Without the guidance from God’s word, it is so easy to be confused and lost in life. We know not what is true and what is not. There has to be a benchmark, a focal point, a reference. And it is the Word!
It is easy to seep into following traditions and people. Just because traditions say so….Just because majority say so….There is a need to go back, to go right back to the very one thing that we should base our lives upon: the Word of God. And we can be assured that it will definitely lead and guide our lives.
In life, we suffer in many ways; be it in the loss of a loved one, in sickness, in emotional stress or in mental torture. This is also true for the christian life. The christian life is not a bed of roses, in fact, it is a bed of nails. Many people have thought that once they have become christians, their lives would be easy and smooth-sailing because God will bless and bless and bless. While it is true that God is a giver, he does not give us all we want, but what is best for us.
This is an amazing thing because what we want may not be the best for us. We want to be rich, we want fame, we want good grades, we want to do what we like, we want to pursue our passions, we want our lives to be safe and secured and easy. God doesn’t necessarily need to give all these things we want because he loves us and he has something way better for us than these things that we want. Something we can be sure of that he will give, despite us not asking, is His discipline.
The Church in the Book of Hebrews were enduring ‘a great conflict of sufferings’ (Hebrews 10:32). They ‘were made a public spectacle through reproaches and tribulations’ (Hebrews 10:33), thrown into prison and their properties were seized (Hebrews 10:34). Yet these tremendous things that they suffered were not because God wanted to punish them for their sins.
In our lives, sometimes, we may feel ourselves in similar situations of pain like the Church in the Book of Hebrews. We question the very reason for the tremendous sufferings and pain that we go through. We begin to lament that what we are going through is because God is punishing us for not walking upright or for some particular sin that we have committed. It is easy in such situations to despair and feel so discouraged that we are no longer able to stand like before.
But thankfully, the bible always provides an example for us to learn from in our encountering of difficult and painful situations. Job was blameless, upright, fearing God, and turning away from evil (Job 1:1). God was pleased with his life and was proud of him (Job 1:8). But what did God do? He allowed Satan to torment Job tremendously that Job could not bear. Why did God do that to Job? Or we could ask for our similar situations, why did God do these to me?
Surely, if we are christians, it is not God’s punishment for sins. Hebrews 9:28a – ’so Christ also, having been offered once to bear the sins of many…’ Christ has bore our sins and the punishment for our sins once and for all, on the Cross of Calvary. There no longer is any more punishment for our sins, for Christ has bore it all decisively. If this is so, what then is this pain we are going through that is so difficult to bear?
It is the discipline of the Lord.
Hebrews 12:6-8 – ‘For those whom the Lord loves He disciplines, and he scourges every son whom He receives. It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline? But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.’
We are going through all these pain and suffering because God loves us. It is just like in the situation of Job. His pain and afflictions came not because of what he had done wrong, for he was blameless and turning away from evil. It came because of love from God.
More so, the pain that we go through is a proof of our faith. The Lord disciplines who he loves and scourges every son. A son is to go through these discipline which is painful. Discipline is a characteristic of sonship. If we are the children of God, we would have to go through discipline. Otherwise, clearly, without the discipline of the Lord, we would not be sons, but illegitimate children and illegitimate children do not inherit the kingdom of God. Even Jesus Christ Himself, the perfect man, had to go through sufferings as a form of discipline by His father for it says in Hebrews 5:8 that ‘Although He was a Son, He learned obedience from the things which He suffered.’
Discipline is for a design and a purpose.
God ‘disciplines us for our good, that we may share His holiness’ (Hebrews 12:10). We suffer so that afterwards, our sorrow may yield ‘the peaceful fruit of righteousness’ (Hebrews 12:11). This is a great encouragement because it just means that when we suffer, we are part of the great plan and purpose of God for our lives. It just means that we are ‘work-in-progress’-es. God is refining us, if it would be, by fire, so that we can be complete, sharing his holiness and righteousness.
There is a particular song I would like to share that can encourage us when we go through pain and sufferings:
When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all-sufficient, shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not hurt thee – I only design
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.
Thank you Lord for your marvellous plan for our lives, thank you for your discipline upon me, because it shows that you care for me and you love me. Though it may be sorrowful for a little while, I will yield the peaceful fruit of righteousness and share in your holiness later. Day by day, I can be more like you, because of your discipline. Amen.
This is a hymn of assurance and encouragement from God about his promises. The particular verse that spoke to me was verse 4 (in bold letters). It gives me great encouragement that despite the pain through suffering, God is sovereign and his purpose is yet enduring in his disciplinary hand:
How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in His excellent word!
What more can He say than to you He hath said -
To you, who for refuge to Jesus have fled?
“Fear not, I am with thee – O be not dismayed,
For I am thy God, I will still give thee aid;
I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by My gracious, omnipotent hand.
“When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of woe shall not thee overflow;
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.
“When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all-sufficient, shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not hurt thee – I only design
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.
“The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose,
I will not, I will not desert to his foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavour to shake,
I’ll never no, never no, never forsake!”
While on the train back home from teaching tuition, I was reading a book about the wonder of worship. I thank God that when I asked for his word to be made real and true to me once more, he answered my prayer. Interestingly, it is always on long train rides back home when God speaks.
I was reading a segment on how God is to be worshipped. In the light of my recent situation of a loss of joy in my heart, there was the realisation of the relevance of this section for my current state. I finally understood the reason for the loss of joy. I was lacking in joy because I was seeking to find joy with my own means and in my own ways. The book, then, taught me to return to the place where joy can be found, which is back to the place of the altar.
As one think of the word ‘altar’, it is easy to think of idol-worship. But the bible has recorded many instances of altar-building unto the Lord:
Genesis 8:20 – ‘Then Noah built an altar to the Lord…’
Genesis 12:7 – ‘And the Lord appeared to Abram and said, “To your descendants I will give this land.” So he built an altar there to the Lord who had appeared to him.’
Genesis 35:7 - ‘And (Jacob) built an altar there, and called the place El-Bethel because there God had revealed Himself to him, when he fled from his brother’
Noah, Abraham and Jacob all built altars unto the Lord. There has to be some significance of what an altar meant apart from its physical state. In fact, God instructed his people to build an altar in Exodus 20:24-26 – ‘You shall make an altar of earth for Me, and you shall sacrifice on it your burnt offerings and your peace offerings, your sheep and your oxen; in every place where I cause My name to be remembered, I will come to you and bless you. And if you make an altar of stone for Me you shall not build it of cut stones, for if you wield your tool on it, you will profane it. And you shall not go up by steps to My altar, that you nakedness may not be exposed on it.’
I realised that there is great significance of an altar beyond the physical. The building of the altar was a symbol of worship to God. When Noah built an altar, he worshipped God for God has saved him and kept him from the flood. When Abraham built an altar, he worshipped God forGod has promised Abraham a land for his descendents. When Jacob built an altar, he worshipped God for God has revealed Himself to Jacob.
I realised how wonderful this place of the altar was. It was the place where God is worshipped for who he is. That is why an altar is to be built ‘in every place where I cause My name to be remembered’. It is the place where we bow down and lay ourselves before God so that His glory is revealed and His name is lifted high.
At the place of the altar where God is worshipped is the place of submission. When Abraham built the altar, it became the place of God’s priority (as David McKee puts it, God’s awful priority). We see later that Abraham was willing to put God’s priority first even at the expanse of killing his own son. At the altar, there was no longer ‘I am’ on man’s part, but be ‘be thou’ for God. There was the recognition of the priority of God.
This so applies to my current situation! I realised how stiff-necked and stubborn I am in my own ways! O how I need to return to the altar of God, to this place of submission to God and cry out for God to do to me as a potter with the clay. I need to say once more “not my will, but Yours be done.” and return to the place of submission where God becomes all in all.
The altar where God is worshipped is also the place of confidence and trust. As my christian life tosses and meanders like a river with much inconsistency, there is this assurance of God that is needed, that He has won the final victory. There is always this fear that in no time I will return to a wayward life and live life yet again as a defeated christian. But I have learnt that at the altar, ‘a man in a tent in the will of God is more secured than a man in a mansion in Egypt outside of God’s will.’ I often neglect this very truth that God is ultimate security, that I can trust Him because of who He is and I can have the peace and confidence forevermore. I can trust God that I will no fall back into sin and live a defeated life anymore because God is My Strength and he makes me run and not grow weary and sin no longer has dominion over me and I can live victoriously in Christ!
Finally, in reflecting how an altar is to be built, 1) it shall not be build of cut stones or with wielding of tools upon it and 2) there shall not be steps for men to go up to the altar. Not to build of cut stones and without any tools is not to have human work glorified on it. No attempt of human polish or human cleverness shall be on the altar for no flesh will dare to glory in the place of God. There shall be no steps to it because it is a reminder that no man is to climb up to God, but it is God who comes down to man in his grace.
Today, I realised this significance of building an altar before the Lord. Reading Exodus 40 of how the glory of God filled the tabernacle after all the construction was completed, I suddenly saw the need for us as christians to ‘built an altar’ for God today. There is a need to build an altar in our church, to build an altar in our homes, to build an altar everywhere where God’s name can be glorified.
As I ponder over how I should serve in my worship ministry, I finally saw what God wanted me to do. He doesn’t want me to improve my singing. He doesn’t want be to learn how to appear on stage. But He wants me to be still, to bow before His throne today and built an altar in the church, that he may be truly worshipped as the God of gods and the King of kings.
