The Busyness of a student

It’s been a very long while since I last blogged. 40DOC in my church has ended. Many things have changed. I have entered into a new chapter of my life which is becoming a student once again.

After my long 2 1/2 of national service break, the transition of returning back to books wasn’t a smooth one initially. My very first lecture in 2  1/2 year was a shocking experience. Firstly, it was stressful to get my brains thinking academically immediately. Secondly, given the sudden independence as a university student, I was utterly lost. All the while in my life, there was regimentation and instructions given. A sudden release of freedom placed me in an awkward position.

I thank God that he has made it smooth thus far, that I have been adjusting and familiaring myself to my new environment and new acquaintances fairly well.

One problem though, is that I plagued myself with too many things to do. Somehow, I’m still clinging on to many things, despite the fact that I’m now a student again and my priority should be on my studies. For example, I still spend a unreasonable amount of time on playing basketball; worst still, I increased my number of tuition students to three and I rejoined my Voices of Praise Choir. Sometimes, I do think that I would be over-stretching myself such that I would burn out even before I begin to sit down and study.

I am absolutely certain that if this is God’s path for me, though tiring and draining, he would carry me through.

While reading a christian book, I thank God that he reminded me through this verse:

John 3:30 – “He must increase, but I must decrease.”

My focus has been drawn away to so many things lately: joining the university basketball team, earning money to support myself via tuitioning, spending time with friends and even serving in the choir.

I felt that all these things I have been wanting to do and already doing are all in the opposite direction of what God wants. It is legitimate to say all these things are permissible and there is nothing wrong doing all these things.

But these things shouldn’t be my focus. I shouldn’t be spending all my efforts, time and energy simply for the sake of doing these things. Why does it seem as if I am increasing and Christ is decreasing? It seems as if these things are drawing away my primary focus which is Christ himiself.

I thank God for this timely reminder that Christ ought to take 1st place in every single thing and that life is to be lived for him alone.

2 Cor 5:15 – and He died for all, that they who live should no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf.

A solemn wake-up call

Yesterday, I attended a funeral wake of one of my church member. He died from heart-attack while battling cancer for a long time. His death, to me, was a rather abrupt and unexpected one. Although he had been battling cancer, a few months back, during one of the testimony-sharing sessions, he was vibrantly, joyfully sharing his story and fight against cancer. As he stood there to share, I couldn’t even tell that he was a cancer-stricken patient. He had so much life in him that he could even share a joke or two.

I realised how fast things could take a turn. A scary, unexpected, unbelievable turn.

I was once again reminded about the reality of death, that on one day, it would be my turn to lie in a coffin, motionless, still, cold, lifeless. My loved ones would be around me, sobbing and mourning at my lifeless corpse, taking reluctant glances of what’s left of my soon-to-decay body. The thing that makes funerals different from all the other ceremonies is that the person for which it is to cannot attend it. At birthday parties, the main person would be there. At weddings, the main person would be there. Only at funerals, the main person wouldn’t be there.

Job 1:21 – “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, And naked I shall return there. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.”

Genesis 3:19 – By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread, till you return to the ground, because from it you were taken; for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.

This is the frightening reality of death! The reality in which no man can ever escape!

This is the reality in which Jesus himself wept about when he saw his beloved friend Lazarus in the tomb. (John 11:35) People weep at funerals because of death, because death has taken and separated their loved ones from them.

But I do thank God that physical death is not the end.

John 11:25 – “I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in Me shall live even if he dies.”

Even when physical death has taken us, we live because of Jesus Christ! Though we die, we live forevermore, without suffering, without pain, in the face of our living God.

The solemn wake-up call of death tells me that I should be living my life worthwhile. Not with the ‘by eating and drinking for tomorrow we die’ mentality, but by living every moment of life for God, by living life as God wants me to live, for death comes as he calls.